Living Out Loud

In the last few years, I have become deeply introspective and find myself asking, “What’s next in life, and how will I have time to make changes and fulfill things I’ve always dreamed about?” Mid-life brings many changes to every woman. Sometimes it is just experiencing the empty nest when all the kids are gone, and sometimes it’s a divorce or even the death of a spouse. With some of my friends, it’s boredom with their career and their life goals. For others, it has been a job layoff and the possibility of a career change at age 50.

For women, 50 is representative of so many things, but most of all, we ask the question, “What now?” I am 50 and find myself widowed and faced with starting over, being back in the single world. This is a somewhat scary prospect, as I haven’t been on a date in more years than I care to remember. Initially, it meant thinking I need to be thinner, younger, and prettier. Well, that’s only a fleeting thought because at 50, I am also more confident in the woman I have become. I am okay with the fact I am no longer a size 8 and have a few more wrinkles.

I am looking for answers to the second part of life and am asking lots of questions: “Will I have the courage to pursue the work of my dreams? Will I get that really cool car I’ve always wanted, or will I continue to let it go for more conservative transportation? Will I get to Italy and drink wine in Tuscany? Will I take the road trip and get a kick out of traveling on Route 66? Will I ever go to cooking school or write a book?”

When I turned 50, I received a card and a magazine from AARP. That was fairly life-changing to think that I am now among that elite baby boomer group of the American Association of Retired Persons. I think I’m pretty far from being retired, but I was amazed to find out that AARP offers some wonderful benefits. They even have an annual convention called “Life at 50”. I’ve signed up to attend this year to see what they know about being 50 that I don’t. I think it will help to reveal the answers to that “What now?” question.

So far, nine months into being 50, I have found clarity in several things—clarity that helps me considerably as I ponder this question.

First, I am no longer concerned or interested in climbing the corporate ladder or any other ladder to the top. I am perfectly content doing the work I have carved out for myself. I also feel no need to be politically correct within most circles, both professionally and personally. My age has given me the right to express my views as I see fit without regard for retribution.

I am also more concerned with giving back to my community than taking from it. I have more passion regarding people, places, and issues that I deem important, and I’m pretty okay with my body and the whole “change of life” thing. Well, maybe with the exception of those darn hot flashes. I could do without them.

So, what’s next for you?

Posted by Joanne at 02:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Who do you count on for support, whether it’s in the midst of a traumatic experience or one of joy? Life takes us on a daily journey of trials, blessings, joys, and sorrows. Knowing who to call upon to share your feelings is your key to living a life of discovery, strength, and peace.

That statement sounds well and good, but how many of us have developed a core group that we count on as our circle of strength? Women seem to be better at creating a core group of support, usually with girlfriends, because women like to share their knowledge and wisdom with their gal pals. They derive strength from sharing their hopes, passions, and dreams with other women. Girlfriends are a circle of strength.

Men, on the other hand, aren’t quite as good at creating a core group of support unless it’s their significant other. Occasionally, men have a circle going through their work. Business gives men a common bond for discussion and support, but I have found with my husband, that usually doesn’t extend past the office. He doesn’t usually talk to his colleagues about his personal feelings; he saves them for conversations with me. It seems that men share more often with a spouse or a sibling. Families are a circle of strength.

Teenagers are interesting to observe because their entire circle of strength comes from their peers. During puberty, so many changes are occurring, and the most obvious change is that friends are all going through it, too! Teenagers form their own circles of strength.

Children form their circles of strength almost completely with their family. Mom, Dad, and siblings are the core strength for a child. It seems no matter what their family circumstances, children still look to their family for that security.

Others find strength in specific groups when they are forced to deal with a terrible disease, an addiction, or the loss of a loved one. Often, those who are experiencing something similar provide more care because they really connect with each other—they understand. Support groups are a circle of strength.

The knowledge that you have a circle of people to give you strength throughout your journey is priceless.

Who forms your circle of strength?

Posted by Joanne at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This week on the Oprah Show, she featured women over 50 who participated in the Dove Pro Age Campaign. One of the women was chosen to be nude on a billboard hanging in Times Square in New York! It was amazing to hear the women talk about their bodies and being nude and actually feeling good about being in their own skin. What a great tribute to women over 50 and Yes they are beautiful and sexy. What resonated to me about the show was a comment Oprah made -"The key to being youthful is to do what you want to do!" Sounds easy, but how many of us are really doing that? Living a life of passion and purpose does make you feel better both mentally and physically and that is what others see.
So kudos to Dove for stepping up and supporting women over 40 and beyond -"Let your beauty show through"
JoAnne
Circle of Stength

Posted by Joanne at 09:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)