Living Out Loud

Growing up, I thought being strong meant you had to go it alone, especially since the only time I ever heard the word “strength” used was when the media referred to bodybuilders or super-heroes. So I set out to conquer the world by myself….and fell flat on my face. I quickly realized that I could create and do much more with the help of others, and eventually, I discovered that my circle of strength became stronger when I included people who were talented, smarter, or different than me in their own unique ways.

“We don’t accomplish anything in this world alone…", said Sandra Day O’Connor, former U.S. Supreme Court associate justice, and she was right. When I share my life purpose with someone who has agreed to support me along my journey – someone who has the ability to have a tremendous impact on my life – I achieve my goals faster and more easily. Their energy adds momentum to mine, helping me to stay on track and hone my vision as I move toward it.

When I began creating a circle of strength, I tended to include people who were a lot like me. Because they thought much like I did, they told me exactly what I wanted to hear; and although they continue to be wonderful supporters of my vision, I realized that I needed something more—something to stretch me. I began to intentionally connect with people who challenge me as they bring completely new perspectives to my life.
To really grow, I had to make myself vulnerable and then I had to listen. It’s not enough to surround yourself with people who can help you to grow; you have to make the decision to listen and to make choices based on the broader perspectives they offer.
Something that makes this even more challenging in my own life and in my work with leaders is that women have difficulty accepting strength and support from others. Typically, we’re better givers than receivers, giving to our families, jobs, communities, and friends without ever expecting anything in return. Our nature is to nurture and help others; but sometimes, we don’t allow others to do the same for us. In order to create my powerful circle of strength, I had to open myself up to receive blessings and new perspectives from others.
As Helen Keller said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.”